SIWMKTK: The Indecisive Tattooed Bad Boy

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This blog is brought to you by Taylor Swift.

So, I’ve been a little infatuated lately with T. Swizzle and her latest album T.S. 1989.  I thought traveling to Philadelphia to see her in concert would quell the desire to obsessively listen to her songs but it hasn’t.  In fact, it’s prompted me to think long and hard about life.  I know.  I’m talking about Taylor Swift here but despite the bubblegum pop princess stereotype associated with her music she is a fantastic songwriter.  She is one of my favorite writers…period.

Anyway, she possesses the ability to call her exes out on all their bad behavior and then has the global audience to make sure they know she’s talking about them.  Every high school girls’ dream.  I love her messages. Plain and simple.  She’s not your typical role model for young girls, of which I have two, but she’s a good one.

I want my children to know about men and how sometimes they suck.  Most of them do not.  I don’t want to be accused of man bashing. Hell, I want them to know that at any given time anyone can suck including them.  Listening to her songs helps me think about the messages I want my kids to hear and the lessons I want them to learn about love and dating.  Taylor helps me craft that message because frankly I’ve forgotten a lot about dating since it’s been 12 years since I’ve done any.

Hence, this blog.  This is the first in a series of blogs I’m calling S*&% I Want My Kids To Know.  Classy, I know.

Today’s topic is: The Indecisive Tattooed Bad Boy

I’m still working on the name but I think we all know who I’m talking about. Every woman probably  has one in their past and most girls will have one in the future.  I’ve had one or two.  And after listening to Taylor’s song Wildest Dreams I remembered him.

What I know for sure is that no matter how much I tell my girls to run away from the bad boy, they won’t.  In fact, think of this not as a warning to run away from the bad boy, but as a guide on how to handle the aftermath when you catch up with him.

And that’s what you’re doing.  You’re running towards him.  Now, take note.  He’s running away.  You’re actually chasing him.  It may at times feel like he’s chasing you.  That’s part of his magic.   And while you may catch up, he will never stay still long enough to be truly caught.

This is how it goes.  You see him.  He’s tall.  They always are.  He may not be good-looking in the traditional sense but he makes you weak in the knees.  That’s an actual thing, children.  There are some men who make your knees feel like jello.

Taylor reference in 3…2…1….”He’s so tall and handsome as hell. He’s so bad but he does it so well.”

Yes. Yes, he does.

Then the dance begins.  The flirting dance.  It’s so nice.  Best part of the bad boy is the flirting that occurs.  This could last anywhere from 1 hour to 2 years after initial contact.  The dance continues and you get those butterflies.  I love those butterflies.  You will love those butterflies.  They die.

Taylor reference in 3….2…1…..”There was nothing left to do when the butterflies turned to dust that covered my whole room.”

Yes. Yes, they do.

You move from the flirt phase to the wow, this is so hot because it’s forbidden phase.  Hey kids, want to know why it feels so forbidden?  Because deep down you know that it’s probably a giant mistake. Enjoy this phase because this is all you will ever get from him.  And even then the physical part of your relationship will not be what you imagined.  It’s not enough.  It never is because he won’t ever give all of himself to you.  Not physically and not emotionally either.

Then you begin to wonder what’s going on with him.  You sense his distance even before you see him again.  There’s been a shift in the atmosphere. This can happen anywhere from 1 hour to 2 years after initial contact.   This is when he will utter the following words to you.  Now, in this day and age it’s most likely over text or Facebook but the words are all the same.

Indecisive Tattooed Bad Boy says, “This was a mistake.”  Or some variation of such.  He’ll make it seem like it was a mutual mistake.  That both of you screwed up and feel the same way.  That he is doing this out of his concern for you.  You’ll feel, for a few minutes at least, that he’s so brave for saying it out loud because somewhere inside of you, you knew it was a mistake.

This is the thing.  He doesn’t really care about your best interest.  He can’t.  He thinks of himself and the ramifications his actions have on his own life.  Your interest or well-being does not matter.

These are the sad truths about Indecisive Tattooed Bad Boy:

The dark corners of his soul that you think he’s letting you into when he shares his thoughtful insights into the world are really shallow pools where his feelings should be.

Those thoughtful insights are just phrases from memes he got off the internet.

His tattoos, which may have meaning, are probably a result of him being dumb, drunk and/or bored.

You don’t matter to him.  While he is something to you; you are nothing to him.

Now, ready for the happy truths?

You are more than enough for someone in this world.

You, if I’ve taught you correctly, will always love you more than anyone other person with the exception of your children which if I’ve taught you correctly, you won’t have until you found the one who is right for you.

The best truth you will learn from Indecisive Bad Boy:  He was not a mistake.  You heard me right.  He may so those words to you.  And when he does.  I would like you to say the following to him.
“This was not a mistake.  This was a lesson.”

And one more small note to make you feel better. Taylor reference in 3…2…1……”Someday when you leave me, I bet these memories follow you around.”  That’s right. Rest assured he’ll remember those stolen moments in the elevator or his bathroom when he’s old and married.